“I have decided to stick with love… Hate is too great a burden to bear” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is important to recognize that we are not trying to erase, minimize or belittle the anger and fear someone may be expressing. Instead, we acknowledge it’s a signal for something more – something that can sustain and grow in us without destroying us, something that we love that is always worth standing up for. For some, the idea that there is also something upstream of the anger may be new. Conversations can help in that discovery and encourage someone to recognize both.
The Role of Listening
At a Hearts for Democracy Rally, we do not want to turn anyone away, or make them feel unwelcome. We believe there is a spark of love in each person. Often times that light is so covered up by anger and fear, it’s hard to see it within ourselves, much less each other. Hearts for Democracy hopes to create opportunities for people to find that light within themselves and to witness it in each other. Through conversations at our rallies, we give people a chance to express their anger and sadness and touch that which they hold dear – bringing that love back into the light.
When someone brings a sign with a negative message to a Hearts for Democracy rally, we recognize this as an opportunity to connect and listen. Behind their anger and dismay is something they care about. Most people want to be heard, and having hosts identified as listeners, can be a meaningful way to help people reconnect with that which they love, giving them an opportunity to recognize both their anger and the love.
Rage + Love = Courage
- Gentle, curious inquiry can help someone tap into what they love
- Listening can help move from rage to courage.
- Courage is what is needed now more than ever.
Suggested conversation pathways
Introduce yourself, your role, and your task
- Hi, I’m *, one of today’s Rally Hosts. Glad you are here! How did you find out about this rally?
- One of my jobs as host is to make sure folks know how this rally works and what it’s about. What have you heard? Any questions?
- I’m wondering about your sign. Could you tell me about it? . . .
- Wow, I hear you, I get it and agree with you/that is a valid perspective. I’m curious what’s behind that – What are you most concerned about? /What do you most care about?
- That’s a great sign for a protest (I really like it!), looking at how it’s worded, though, I’m wondering if there’s a way you might reframe what you want to say in a different way, to better match the intent of this kind of rally?
or:
- I’m wondering if you’d be willing to ALSO hold a sign that expresses what you love or are concerned about, too? We have some of those in our ‘sign library’/ We have markers and materials for making additional signs. Perhaps you could hold BOTH for while.
If participant declines, fetch a second host to join you if you want:
Well, we all love free speech and certainly it’s your freedom of speech to carry the sign you want on this public sidewalk. We hope that you can find what it is that you care about and be comfortable expressing that AS WELL. Thank you again for coming out and showing you care.
Hearts for Democracy is based on the idea that love is a powerful motivator and that most people will be willing to look behind their anger and fear to what they love. And if they are not ready for that, simply accept it and surround them with heart signs!